Care to be Revived?
Well, today I became Red Cross certified to perform CPR. Sounds fancy, huh? It's something I am required to do for my new job. The training session really wasn't bad, the videos being what you would expect, the trainer herself being pretty cool. She forgot to ask me about my ring, though. After we were practicing on the funny little CPR dummies where she watched me struggle with the proper hand placement (I have a muscular condition that sometimes interferes with shit, so I came up with an alternate position, which incidentally was helpful to another trainee who was having a hard time too), she said "I have to ask you something later." I know she wanted to ask me about my snake ring, only because I noticed that she was wearing at least two snake rings, and you kinda couldn't help but be staring at mine while all that chest compression was going on, and it's a nice fucking ring. She wore rings on all ten fingers. But yeah, I do know that was the question.
So anyway, if you stopped breathing, maybe I could save you. I could also prevent you from choking to death. Even if you were unconscious. If you were having a heart attack I could defibrillate you, assuming I had an AED around. To be honest, the whole thing with my hands really got me nervous for awhile. I had a few moments where I felt really panicky and incompetent and wanted to crawl under the table in tears and think about some other job I could do. My muscular condition, which is completely unnoticeable under most circumstances, and doesn't interfere most of the time, really is one of my hot button issues. And if I have to address it directly among strangers, especially in a situation where I am actually expected to perform physical acts in front of them (that sounds a little dirty), it really brings up a lot of old emotional stuff. I did seriously think I was going to have to take a bathroom break to go and cry today. Instead I took a lot of deep breaths. During lunch I practiced on the dummies in order to come up with an effective way to do my chest compressions and felt a lot better after that. As I mentioned above, my new method was perfectly acceptable to the instructor.
It sounds like a little thing, but being in an environment where I felt people were taking my condition seriously but not making me feel like a freak about it or making a big deal about it meant a lot. Taking on the problem on my own, as it related to performing CPR and coming up with a safe solution felt really good too. Sometimes I feel like I can't trust my body. It's a feeling that makes me coil in a little, defensive and worried. I once told someone that sometimes it's like my body is made of glass, with all of its contradictory properties - very strong, but very fragile - cold and heat changing it dramatically. Stating it this way really helped them understand what I was talking about, sort of anyway.
But the bottom line is that I feel really good right now! Aside from having this cold, anyway. A little wine oughta' set that straight-ish. That and some... well, see below.
So anyway, if you stopped breathing, maybe I could save you. I could also prevent you from choking to death. Even if you were unconscious. If you were having a heart attack I could defibrillate you, assuming I had an AED around. To be honest, the whole thing with my hands really got me nervous for awhile. I had a few moments where I felt really panicky and incompetent and wanted to crawl under the table in tears and think about some other job I could do. My muscular condition, which is completely unnoticeable under most circumstances, and doesn't interfere most of the time, really is one of my hot button issues. And if I have to address it directly among strangers, especially in a situation where I am actually expected to perform physical acts in front of them (that sounds a little dirty), it really brings up a lot of old emotional stuff. I did seriously think I was going to have to take a bathroom break to go and cry today. Instead I took a lot of deep breaths. During lunch I practiced on the dummies in order to come up with an effective way to do my chest compressions and felt a lot better after that. As I mentioned above, my new method was perfectly acceptable to the instructor.
It sounds like a little thing, but being in an environment where I felt people were taking my condition seriously but not making me feel like a freak about it or making a big deal about it meant a lot. Taking on the problem on my own, as it related to performing CPR and coming up with a safe solution felt really good too. Sometimes I feel like I can't trust my body. It's a feeling that makes me coil in a little, defensive and worried. I once told someone that sometimes it's like my body is made of glass, with all of its contradictory properties - very strong, but very fragile - cold and heat changing it dramatically. Stating it this way really helped them understand what I was talking about, sort of anyway.
But the bottom line is that I feel really good right now! Aside from having this cold, anyway. A little wine oughta' set that straight-ish. That and some... well, see below.
posted by Black Egg at 6:44 PM
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