Forks, Knives, Spoons
I'll start by saying there's a whole story taking place right now, tonight, here, that is pretty much illustrated by a fork in the road.
That's as much of the story as I'm willing to tell here. I only mention it as a sort of backdrop, because I'm about to write about some relatively frivolous crap right now, but behind it all is that picture. It's as stark as it looks.
Tonight I knocked on my landlady's door (she lives right next door) to give her some packages that UPS dropped off while she was gone. She was having dinner with her ex-husband, and they both enthusiastically invited me in, asking if I'd eaten (I had - more about that later) did I want a drink (before realizing I had brought my own) and please, why don't you sit down? I really like both of them, they are in their late sixties, very smart and funny and entertaining.
The conversation revolved around serious health matters and what kind of alcohol we liked to drink. Once that second subject came up, her husband, who looks just like Santa Claus, became very animated - "Do you like Sambuca?" he wanted to know, "What about that Polish vodka? That's the best, you know." "Guinness?" And did I know how to pour one liquor on top of another so that they don't mix? (I did.) And have I ever had bourbon in a shot glass then dropped, glass and all, into a pint of beer? (I hadn't.) "Hennessy is expensive, but good for a winter night...but don't drink moonshine made from corn...although" he said, with a slightly distant look in his eye, "Once I had some and it was terrible at first. Then I had another sip and it wasn't that bad. Then I thought, 'This is pretty good!' but I think there was a terrible earthquake that night, because the floor kept hitting me in the head! Even the walls!" Did I ever drink Dubonnet w/ lemon and ice, his wife wanted to know. What kind of beer do I drink, so they have some next time? And it went on and on.
During the vodka part of the conversation, where I was being queried about what I like to mix it with and what kind I buy (Smirnoff), my landlady suddenly got up from her chair, "Oh, I have something for you!" She went and rustled around in the side room for a minute, returning with this elaborate gift box of Grey Goose vodka, complete with a martini glass. "Here, this is for you for being such a nice girl." (No, she wan't drinking!) I'm sitting there thinking, Huhh? but I said, "Oh my God, are you sure? This is really nice! That's really good vodka!" And she said "It's just for you, don't share it. You have to do nice things for yourself, take care of yourself." I'm not totally sure that drinking a big ol' bottle of Grey Goose by myself is necessarily taking care of myself, nonetheless I thanked her profusely, because that is a fricking kick-ass thing for a landlady to do, isn't it? Lucky me! They're such cool people.
Since I'm on the topic of alcohol, let me give a big warning to anyone that thinks mixing Red Bull, vodka, and orange juice might be a good idea. Unless you really totally LOVE the taste of St. Joseph's Baby Aspirin, I mean the EXACT taste, don't ever mix these things. With Red Bull being as expensive as it is, it's worth knowing.
I said I was going to talk about what I had for dinner, and I will. I decided I wanted something really, really good tonight but I'm still really, really broke, so the following recipe was my compromise. I spent $5 on a half pound of sea scallops. I mashed some potatoes. I cooked some frozen peas, maybe a cup. On the bottom of a small casserole dish I put the uncooked scallops. I put little bits of butter all over them and some salt and pepper. I poured the cooked peas over that. I spread the mashed potatoes over that, maybe an inch and a half thick. Tossed that baby in the oven at 375 for half an hour. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Fucking make this if you like scallops. And if you don't like mashed potatoes you're a freak. It's obviously just a variation of Shepherd's Pie, I make no claims of originality. As with all seafood dishes, you don't want to re-heat this, but that's ok 'cause it still rocks when it's cold!
And now it's back to contemplating that fork...
That's as much of the story as I'm willing to tell here. I only mention it as a sort of backdrop, because I'm about to write about some relatively frivolous crap right now, but behind it all is that picture. It's as stark as it looks.
Tonight I knocked on my landlady's door (she lives right next door) to give her some packages that UPS dropped off while she was gone. She was having dinner with her ex-husband, and they both enthusiastically invited me in, asking if I'd eaten (I had - more about that later) did I want a drink (before realizing I had brought my own) and please, why don't you sit down? I really like both of them, they are in their late sixties, very smart and funny and entertaining.
The conversation revolved around serious health matters and what kind of alcohol we liked to drink. Once that second subject came up, her husband, who looks just like Santa Claus, became very animated - "Do you like Sambuca?" he wanted to know, "What about that Polish vodka? That's the best, you know." "Guinness?" And did I know how to pour one liquor on top of another so that they don't mix? (I did.) And have I ever had bourbon in a shot glass then dropped, glass and all, into a pint of beer? (I hadn't.) "Hennessy is expensive, but good for a winter night...but don't drink moonshine made from corn...although" he said, with a slightly distant look in his eye, "Once I had some and it was terrible at first. Then I had another sip and it wasn't that bad. Then I thought, 'This is pretty good!' but I think there was a terrible earthquake that night, because the floor kept hitting me in the head! Even the walls!" Did I ever drink Dubonnet w/ lemon and ice, his wife wanted to know. What kind of beer do I drink, so they have some next time? And it went on and on.
During the vodka part of the conversation, where I was being queried about what I like to mix it with and what kind I buy (Smirnoff), my landlady suddenly got up from her chair, "Oh, I have something for you!" She went and rustled around in the side room for a minute, returning with this elaborate gift box of Grey Goose vodka, complete with a martini glass. "Here, this is for you for being such a nice girl." (No, she wan't drinking!) I'm sitting there thinking, Huhh? but I said, "Oh my God, are you sure? This is really nice! That's really good vodka!" And she said "It's just for you, don't share it. You have to do nice things for yourself, take care of yourself." I'm not totally sure that drinking a big ol' bottle of Grey Goose by myself is necessarily taking care of myself, nonetheless I thanked her profusely, because that is a fricking kick-ass thing for a landlady to do, isn't it? Lucky me! They're such cool people.
Since I'm on the topic of alcohol, let me give a big warning to anyone that thinks mixing Red Bull, vodka, and orange juice might be a good idea. Unless you really totally LOVE the taste of St. Joseph's Baby Aspirin, I mean the EXACT taste, don't ever mix these things. With Red Bull being as expensive as it is, it's worth knowing.
I said I was going to talk about what I had for dinner, and I will. I decided I wanted something really, really good tonight but I'm still really, really broke, so the following recipe was my compromise. I spent $5 on a half pound of sea scallops. I mashed some potatoes. I cooked some frozen peas, maybe a cup. On the bottom of a small casserole dish I put the uncooked scallops. I put little bits of butter all over them and some salt and pepper. I poured the cooked peas over that. I spread the mashed potatoes over that, maybe an inch and a half thick. Tossed that baby in the oven at 375 for half an hour. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Fucking make this if you like scallops. And if you don't like mashed potatoes you're a freak. It's obviously just a variation of Shepherd's Pie, I make no claims of originality. As with all seafood dishes, you don't want to re-heat this, but that's ok 'cause it still rocks when it's cold!
And now it's back to contemplating that fork...
posted by Black Egg at 8:42 PM
4 Comments:
oh man. that scallop thing sounds awesome! i shall try that at some point (like soon, cause i have no cash) :P
forks are hard to figure out. good luck with your decisions, whatever they may be.
and whoa! landlady! mine just calls me to be weird at me on the phone for 30 minutes. we had a gas leak in the basement and my sister and i called the gas co. stat (of course!). they fixed it. my downstairs neighbor called the landlady to tell her about it. i get a call later that day (she had tried my cell and didn't leave a message, then tried me at home after calling my old housemate to get the number!) what does she want? just to talk about the gas leak...for 30 minutes. oh and to insinuate that we should have had her come over to test the gas with her meter before calling the gas co. WHATEVER!
ooh, sorry for the rant :) suffice it to say, that is one nice landlady you have there :D
HMMM... grey goose...
I've actually done this before:(but ya gotta plan ahead)When yr walking with a friend,toss an actual fork into the road and then say....
Or even better:Place a small battery and salt in the palm of yr hand then approach a co-worker and say "I have to report a crime",then show them the what's in yr hand and say "Salt and battery"
heehee
need_fire: the scallop thing IS awesome. I cannot stress enough the need to make this! Your landlady is insane. I don't mind the rant, it's hilarious.
inner voices: MMM HMMMM...Grey Goose!
angeldrool: Good idea about the fork. That's kind of existential, actually.
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