Suburban Cowboy
Last night I went out with a couple of friends, to a bar I've never been to before that has the new feature of a mechanical bull. I've never seen one of these things in person. It's about as primitive as you'd expect it to be. Basically it looks like the midsection of a generic cattle, with a brown and white hide, a funny looking saddle-ish thing, and a silly little "tail" made of rope. Also, it's surrounded by this air-filled moonwalk thing to sort of prevent injuries.
Big surprise (not): The ladies can ride that thing far more effectively than the fellas. I mean, really the whole point of it is for people to gander and gaggle at women who for all appearances look like they're fucking the shit out of... whoever they want to imagine them fucking the shit out of. The longer she rides, the more hoots and hollers she gets from the crowd. I did use the word primitive.
Um, no, I did not ride the bull, mind you I don't take issue with anyone else, female or male, for mounting the thing with wildly varying degrees of grace, stamina, and success. The main point for the women seemed to be, again, displaying their "technique", or tits, or how great of a fuck they might be. I don't need to display or prove that to anyone other than my chosen mate. (By the way, because of the preponderance of women who were riding, whenever a guy got on, he managed to seem a little bit Brokeback. Not that I have a problem with that. But that was the effect, with one or two exceptions.)
Speaking of Brokeback, there was this squid there (that means Navy dude - we're near the sub base - I have always found that slang term hilarious) who had been ordering pitcher after pitcher of beer for himself, and kept insinuating himself into our little circle of three. He was actually from Wyoming. There was another guy there who kept throwing his cowboy hat up to whoever was riding the bull, women and men alike. So this Navy dude says "Is it just me, or is it a little gay for that guy to be sharing his hat with other dudes? Where I come from you don't share your hat with anyone!" I shrugged. I conceded that maybe it was slightly odd.
I felt a little bad for the guy, he was trying really hard to impress us with talk of the 3,000 acre ranch his Grandpa owns, his two houses, one in Rhode Island, one in Georgia, with boats to match each. If only that was all a girl wanted.
My friends and I went back to my place afterwards and ate toast with butter and talked about work. And speaking of, I gotta go.
Big surprise (not): The ladies can ride that thing far more effectively than the fellas. I mean, really the whole point of it is for people to gander and gaggle at women who for all appearances look like they're fucking the shit out of... whoever they want to imagine them fucking the shit out of. The longer she rides, the more hoots and hollers she gets from the crowd. I did use the word primitive.
Um, no, I did not ride the bull, mind you I don't take issue with anyone else, female or male, for mounting the thing with wildly varying degrees of grace, stamina, and success. The main point for the women seemed to be, again, displaying their "technique", or tits, or how great of a fuck they might be. I don't need to display or prove that to anyone other than my chosen mate. (By the way, because of the preponderance of women who were riding, whenever a guy got on, he managed to seem a little bit Brokeback. Not that I have a problem with that. But that was the effect, with one or two exceptions.)
Speaking of Brokeback, there was this squid there (that means Navy dude - we're near the sub base - I have always found that slang term hilarious) who had been ordering pitcher after pitcher of beer for himself, and kept insinuating himself into our little circle of three. He was actually from Wyoming. There was another guy there who kept throwing his cowboy hat up to whoever was riding the bull, women and men alike. So this Navy dude says "Is it just me, or is it a little gay for that guy to be sharing his hat with other dudes? Where I come from you don't share your hat with anyone!" I shrugged. I conceded that maybe it was slightly odd.
I felt a little bad for the guy, he was trying really hard to impress us with talk of the 3,000 acre ranch his Grandpa owns, his two houses, one in Rhode Island, one in Georgia, with boats to match each. If only that was all a girl wanted.
My friends and I went back to my place afterwards and ate toast with butter and talked about work. And speaking of, I gotta go.
posted by Black Egg at 12:03 PM
2 Comments:
HMMM.... yeah mechanical bulls... goes along with mechanical boobs, and balls i guess... sort of a simple pleasures thing.. been on one once, hmmm... not my idea of fun... and the guy who is controling the thing is responsible for how fast it goes and which direction it turns, how it bucks etc.
so when the ladies "get on it" its the operator who is having all the "kicks". there is a bar in salinas that has one, we went for a buddies bday, and the guy was full on perving out on it... gross...
Yeah, pervy is the word. I mean, it was a little sad... some, well, most of the people on it were just trying too hard. There was this one woman who was going way overboard and thinking she was totally the s**t, after she fell off she starts applauding herself and blowing kisses to the crowd. Ugh. Give me a break. I'm really not a prude, but there was something slightly annoying about the whole experience.
Post a Comment
<< Home